Famous Demetri Martin Quotes

  • The boomerang is Australia’s chief export (and then import). – Demetri Martin

    The boomerang is Australia’s chief export (and then import).– Demetri Martin

  • Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast? – Demetri Martin

    Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast?– Demetri Martin

  • Fact: The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time. – Demetri Martin

    Fact: The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.– Demetri Martin

  • No one ever thinks about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves. – Demetri Martin

    No one ever thinks about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves.– Demetri Martin

  • Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. – Demetri Martin

    Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.– Demetri Martin

  • REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band. – Demetri Martin

    REGARDING THE MARCHING BAND: How much more interesting it would be to see a creeping band.– Demetri Martin