Famous Jacob M Appel Quotes

  • A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys. – Jacob M Appel

    A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys.– Jacob M Appel

  • Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy. – Jacob M Appel

    Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.– Jacob M Appel

  • Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win. – Jacob M Appel

    Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.– Jacob M Appel

  • Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history. – Jacob M Appel

    Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history.– Jacob M Appel

  • If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men ?????es…. – Jacob M Appel

    If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men ?????es….– Jacob M Appel

  • The boss is never your friend, even if you’re sleeping with him. – Jacob M Appel

    The boss is never your friend, even if you’re sleeping with him.– Jacob M Appel

  • Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you’re going on a date. – Jacob M Appel

    Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you’re going on a date.– Jacob M Appel

  • The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop. – Jacob M Appel

    The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.– Jacob M Appel

  • I used to dream of true love; now I’m open to false, but convincing…. – Jacob M Appel

    I used to dream of true love; now I’m open to false, but convincing….– Jacob M Appel

  • Nothing spices up one’s sex life like having a partner. – Jacob M Appel

    Nothing spices up one’s sex life like having a partner.– Jacob M Appel