Famous Phyllis Diller Quotes

  • Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. – Phyllis Diller

    Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.– Phyllis Diller

  • Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. – Phyllis Diller

    Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.– Phyllis Diller

  • I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. – Phyllis Diller

    I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.– Phyllis Diller

  • We spend the first 12 months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up. – Phyllis Diller

    We spend the first 12 months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.– Phyllis Diller

  • Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing. – Phyllis Diller

    Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.– Phyllis Diller

  • Money’s scarceTimes are hardHere’s your ????ingXmas card – Phyllis Diller

    Money’s scarceTimes are hardHere’s your ????ingXmas card– Phyllis Diller

  • Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. – Phyllis Diller

    Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.– Phyllis Diller