Famous St John Morris Quotes

  • Your toaster’s a puff. – St John Morris

    Your toaster’s a puff.– St John Morris

  • What have you got in there you little bastard? – St John Morris

    What have you got in there you little bastard?– St John Morris

  • Her protestations were drowned out by the sound of Gordon Honeycomb barfing up aftershock into the kitchenette sink. – St John Morris

    Her protestations were drowned out by the sound of Gordon Honeycomb barfing up aftershock into the kitchenette sink.– St John Morris

  • You little prick. It’s a whelk…it’s a…it’s a…dead whelk! – St John Morris

    You little prick. It’s a whelk…it’s a…it’s a…dead whelk!– St John Morris

  • A huge meringue with polio who drives everywhere in a beautifully restored Hillman Imp. – St John Morris

    A huge meringue with polio who drives everywhere in a beautifully restored Hillman Imp.– St John Morris

  • Had the facial plumage been of a paler hue it would have looked like a pile of horse crap on a winter’s day. – St John Morris

    Had the facial plumage been of a paler hue it would have looked like a pile of horse crap on a winter’s day.– St John Morris

  • Beetroot Cossins had moved to Kuala Lumpur where she had died of lethargy and pie. – St John Morris

    Beetroot Cossins had moved to Kuala Lumpur where she had died of lethargy and pie.– St John Morris

  • Run. Flee. ???? off. Vanish from my presence and take the foul stench of your sordid secret with you. – St John Morris

    Run. Flee. ???? off. Vanish from my presence and take the foul stench of your sordid secret with you.– St John Morris