Famous Tom Upton Quotes

  • Your dad and I have been talking.--œYou need to stop that. The marriage will last longer. – Tom Upton

    Your dad and I have been talking.--œYou need to stop that. The marriage will last longer.– Tom Upton

  • UNDERTAKER!- the head boomed. -œBOY, DO I HAVE A JOB FOR YOU! – Tom Upton

    UNDERTAKER!- the head boomed. -œBOY, DO I HAVE A JOB FOR YOU!– Tom Upton

  • It is not easy being trapped in a school that is caught between cornfields and cows. – Tom Upton

    It is not easy being trapped in a school that is caught between cornfields and cows.– Tom Upton

  • Apparently I couldn’t even pretend to be normal. – Tom Upton

    Apparently I couldn’t even pretend to be normal.– Tom Upton

  • Librarians are notorious snitches-”don’t let anybody convince you otherwise. – Tom Upton

    Librarians are notorious snitches-”don’t let anybody convince you otherwise.– Tom Upton

  • Some people are born to weirdness,- Jerry said, -œand others have weirdness thrust upon them. – Tom Upton

    Some people are born to weirdness,- Jerry said, -œand others have weirdness thrust upon them.– Tom Upton

  • Who in their right mind counts the tiles on the floor when they go visiting a neighbor? – Tom Upton

    Who in their right mind counts the tiles on the floor when they go visiting a neighbor?– Tom Upton

  • I’ve always found wildlife very calming– except when animals are eating each other, of course. – Tom Upton

    I’ve always found wildlife very calming– except when animals are eating each other, of course.– Tom Upton

  • All I did was offer to kill your dog, and the next thing I know I’m being judged. – Tom Upton

    All I did was offer to kill your dog, and the next thing I know I’m being judged.– Tom Upton

  • You know, my main goal in life is trying not to end up in a straightjacket. – Tom Upton

    You know, my main goal in life is trying not to end up in a straightjacket.– Tom Upton