If you can pick the baby up without him squirting our of your hands like a bar of soap in the shower, he’s not oiled up enough.
– James Lileks
Related Quotes:
- I shower in the dark, barely able to tell soap from conditioner, and tell myself that I will emerge new and strong, that the water will heal me. – Veronica Roth
- Memories shrink. Like a soap bar used over and over, they become deformed, weaker scented, too slight and slippery to hold. – Amanda Hodgkinson
- You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friends nose. – John Green
- you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friends nose. – John Green
- Because racism exists, and you have to pick a side. You can say that you don’t pick sides, but eventually life will force you to pick a side. – Trevor Noah
- If Mother had to be told not to shove the entire brick of Ivory up Junior’s hindquarters, constipation is the least of his problems. – James Lileks
- He’s not recruiting me to the oiled-up Gay Bliss Club of Northern Utah, but to the LDS Church. – Christina Lauren
- Entrepreneur, you’re either raising the bar of excellence or, you’re exhaling at the bar which is expensive. – Onyi Anyado
- An arm bar in a vacuum is worthless. It is the realization of the truths which constitute that arm bar that is the real treasure we seek. – Chris Matakas
- Marcus stepped behind the bar, saying, -œDan sent me over to assist you and learn how to tend the bar.- Doms could be pain-in-the-ass mother hens. – Cherise Sinclair
- Entrepreneur, you’re either raising the bar of excellence or your exhaling at the bar which is expensive. – Onyi Anyado
- Entrepreneur, your either raising the bar of excellence or your exhaling at the bar which is expensive. – Onyi Anyado
- He was afraid to pick up the baby. If he touched it, it might bond with him or something. Or he might leave fingerprints all over it. – Judith Arnold
- It’s a baby. A baby can’t be without a mother. – K Weikel
- But the best part of catching Neil in the shower was, hands down, the loud, awful singing. – Abigail Barnette
- I had this vision of the two of us holding hands or getting into some light petting behind shower curtains or up in the fencing aisle or some shit. – Susan Juby
- I like the smell of my Grandma’s soap – I used to sit in the bath and eat it. – Carl Bart
- I learned to swallow words back, hold secrets on my tongue until they dissolved like soap bubbles. – Lauren Oliver
- There is Irish Spring, but there is no fall soap. – Jerry Mooney
- Whatever Jesus lays His hands upon, lives. If He lays is hands upon a marriage, it lives. If He is allowed to lay His hands on the family, it lives. – Howard W Hunter
- My father spoke with his hands. He was deaf. His voice was in his hands. And his hands contained his memories. – Myron Uhlberg
- She’d found him. She’d helped him. She’d saved him. He was hers. And they’d taken him away, ripped him from her arms, literally. – Laura Kaye
- Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands – and then eat just one of the pieces. – Judith Viorst
- My mother? My own mother told my lady governess that if the baby and I were in danger then they should save the baby. – Philippa Gregory
- A baby isn’t meant to stay a baby forever, and neither is a new Christian. – Billy Graham
- There is only one thing worse than a little baby who won’t stop crying: it is a big baby who won’t stop whining about it – Agona Apell
- Asking someone to make for you money is like asking them to make for you a baby: they will own the money just as they will own the baby – Agona Apell
- Baby is baby. – Lailah Gifty Akita
- Baby human died, baby cat died yesterday… dead is part of our life beyond and above us! – Deyth Banger
- I kissed her, a long hard kiss. Because baby didn’t know it, but baby was dead, and in a way I couldn’t have loved her more. – Jim Thompson
- Just know that I always have, and always will really love you, Lisa. Baby or no baby. Past or no past. I loved you then and I love you now. – A Violet End
- You don’t get your prebaby body back, ever, because you cannot go back to being a person who hasn’t had a baby. Because you had a baby. – Wednesday Martin
- He was a small, chubby little man with a perpetual air of sadness about him, making him look like a baby that has dropped its rattle. – Marion Chesney
- Should she slam his head into the bar or toss her beer on him? Damn shame to waste good beer. – Mina Khan
- Life like two broken hands trying to pick flowers for someone you really like. – Sam Pink
- You never help anyone without helping yourself. You never pick up anyone without making yourself stronger. – Debasish Mridha
- There is no shadow without the sun.No suffering without divinity.No fear without love.No despair without desire.No hopelessness without faith. – Brownell Landrum
- The Baby Name book can be a very dangerous tool in the hands of a prolific author. – Michelle M Pillow
- You want to give him the book of his own life, the book that will locate him, parent him, arm him for the changes. – Michael Cunningham
- It hurts so bad that I cannot save him, protect him, keep him out of harm’s way, shield him from pain. What good are fathers if not for these things? – Thomas Lynch