Famous Erma Bombeck Quotes

  • Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. – Erma Bombeck

    Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.– Erma Bombeck

  • There was a time when the one singular thing that held a marriage together was the threat of getting the kids. – Erma Bombeck

    There was a time when the one singular thing that held a marriage together was the threat of getting the kids.– Erma Bombeck

  • Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children. – Erma Bombeck

    Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.– Erma Bombeck

  • I come from a home where gravy is a beverage. – Erma Bombeck

    I come from a home where gravy is a beverage.– Erma Bombeck

  • Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. – Erma Bombeck

    Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.– Erma Bombeck

  • The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. – Erma Bombeck

    The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.– Erma Bombeck

  • Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart. – Erma Bombeck

    Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.– Erma Bombeck

  • It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows – Erma Bombeck

    It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows– Erma Bombeck

  • One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip. – Erma Bombeck

    One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.– Erma Bombeck

  • Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. – Erma Bombeck

    Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.– Erma Bombeck