Famous Jon Stewart Quotes

  • Those fighting to be included in the ideal of equality are not divisive.Those fighting to keep those people out – are. – Jon Stewart

    Those fighting to be included in the ideal of equality are not divisive.Those fighting to keep those people out – are.– Jon Stewart

  • If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime. – Jon Stewart

    If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime.– Jon Stewart

  • I have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and ???? Cheney shot her. – Jon Stewart

    I have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and ???? Cheney shot her.– Jon Stewart

  • I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance – Jon Stewart

    I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance– Jon Stewart

  • No one is better at not beating America than England. – Jon Stewart

    No one is better at not beating America than England.– Jon Stewart

  • Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you’ve gotta admit: a lot of people hate him. – Jon Stewart

    Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you’ve gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.– Jon Stewart

  • We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox. – Jon Stewart

    We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.– Jon Stewart

  • Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates. – Jon Stewart

    Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.– Jon Stewart

  • You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning. – Jon Stewart

    You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.– Jon Stewart

  • Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain – Jon Stewart

    Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain– Jon Stewart