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No one is better at not beating America than England.

No one is better at not beating America than England.
– Jon Stewart

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  1. England has two books, the Bible and Shakespeare. England made Shakespeare,but the Bible made England. – Victor Hugo
  2. There’s not a liberal America and a conservative America – there’s the United States of America. – Barack Obama
  3. America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great. – Alexis de Tocqueville
  4. England and America are two countries separated by the same language. – George Bernard Shaw
  5. Illusion (moha) is to take a beating and then forget, to take another beating and then forget again. – Dada Bhagwan
  6. Beating heroin is child’s play compared to beating your childhood. – Stephen King
  7. -Ž”Your heart is either beating or it’s not, your heart never forgets. As long as your heart is beating follow it, it will always stay true to you. – Shawn Kirsten Maravel
  8. I’ve been to Canada, and I’ve always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. – Jon Stewart
  9. I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a ‘Peanuts’ character. – Jon Stewart
  10. Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain – Jon Stewart
  11. You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning. – Jon Stewart
  12. Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates. – Jon Stewart
  13. We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox. – Jon Stewart
  14. Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you’ve gotta admit: a lot of people hate him. – Jon Stewart
  15. I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance – Jon Stewart
  16. You’re tired of hearing about racism? Imagine how ????ing exhausting it is living it.- ~ Jon Stewart – Chris Smith
  17. I have some bad news. Bjork cannot be here tonight. She was trying on her Oscar dress and ???? Cheney shot her. – Jon Stewart
  18. If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you have no regime. – Jon Stewart
  19. Those fighting to be included in the ideal of equality are not divisive.Those fighting to keep those people out – are. – Jon Stewart
  20. Discrimination does not ‘make America great.’ It makes America weak. – DaShanne Stokes
  21. In 1969 America put the man on the moon.In 2016 America put the man in the women’s bathroom. – Celso Cukierkorn
  22. The literature of America should reflect the children of America. – Lucille Clifton
  23. What’s the difference between depression and South America?If you really had to, you could conquer South America. – Doug Westberg
  24. Stop listening to the TV tell you about America the beautiful . . . get up and be America the beautiful. – Rivera Sun
  25. Stop listening to the TV tell you about America the beautiful . . . get up and be America the beautiful. – Rivera Sun
  26. This country would not be a land of opportunity, America could not be America, if the people were shackled with government monopolies. – Calvin Coolidge
  27. Rejecting predatory capitalism in America is a way to respect and honor America. – Bryant McGill
  28. There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. – Bill Clinton
  29. I do love America. And LA is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane. – Craig Ferguson
  30. This (San Francisco) is the most beautiful city in America, Probably because it looks nothing like America – Ilya Ilf
  31. Americans appreciate bad taste or America wouldn’t look the way America does. – PJ ORourke
  32. If people elsewhere want to do everything possible to make it to America, people in America must do all things possible to make it to heaven! – Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
  33. The reason America is in its death-throes is because America has lost moral authority. – Bryant McGill
  34. But Moby-???? is the explanation of America. It’s not just a novel. It is a book of prophecy. It is the book. It is the book of America. – Robert Stone
  35. Somewhere there must be women reading books,and talking of chicken rissoles to their cooks -¦(from,-˜Somewhere in England’) – Virginia Graham
  36. I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too. – Elizabeth I
  37. Her unusual dark hair and sultry eyes made her stand out— Anne Boleyn was Tudor England’s Angelina Jolie amid a sea of Reese Witherspoons. – Kris Waldherr
  38. A postcard and I’m pining for New England. . . – Amy Ballard
  39. England’s traditional tolerance was outraged at last. – Barbara W Tuchman
  40. Most of my money remains in England, although my unworthy carcass may not under usual circumstances … – Kellyn Roth

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