Famous Steven Wright Quotes
I’m writing a book. I’m almost finished. I numbered the pages. Now all I have to do is fill them in.– Steven Wright
Sorry… my mind was wandering… one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for.– Steven Wright
I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was ‘woman.– Steven Wright
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.– Steven Wright
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier theywouldn’t have to go so fast.– Steven Wright
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?– Steven Wright
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn’t going to be on theroad an hour.– Steven Wright
I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it.– Steven Wright
I installed a skylight in my apartment…The people who live above me arefurious!– Steven Wright