Famous Steven Wright Quotes

  • When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I’m leaving. – Steven Wright

    When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I’m leaving.– Steven Wright

  • Hermits have no peer pressure. – Steven Wright

    Hermits have no peer pressure.– Steven Wright

  • If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? – Steven Wright

    If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?– Steven Wright

  • When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety. – Steven Wright

    When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.– Steven Wright

  • I spilled spot remover on my dog now he’s gone. – Steven Wright

    I spilled spot remover on my dog now he’s gone. – Steven Wright

  • If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you. – Steven Wright

    If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.– Steven Wright