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It was as unsatisfying as a handjob from someone wearing an oven mitt.

It was as unsatisfying as a handjob from someone wearing an oven mitt.
– Paul Di Filippo

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  1. Life is like a dry handjob. Just when it starts getting good, it’s already over. – Jayme K
  2. The tear is the language of the soul and the voice of the feeling. – Filippo Pananti
  3. Some mistakes are worse than others: wearing your underwear inside out isn’t as uncomfortable as wearing it back to front. – Mokokoma Mokhonoana
  4. A Dandy is a clothes-wearing Man, a Man whose trade, office and existence consists in the wearing of clothes. – Thomas Carlyle
  5. You wearing a thigh sheath?--œNow what would be the sense of wearing just one? I have two thighs. – Lisa Shearin
  6. Confidence is this: Wearing your triumphs with humility, and wearing your scars with pride. Many of us do precisely the opposite. – Umair Haque
  7. Confidence is this: Wearing your triumphs with humility, and wearing your scars with pride. Many of us do precisely the opposite. – Umair Haque
  8. Confidence is this: Wearing your triumphs with humility, and wearing your scars with pride. Many of us do precisely the opposite. – Umair Haque
  9. Raising children is like baking cookies at high altitudes. The recipe doesn’t work. You must open the oven door and keep checking on the cookies. – Margaret Aranda
  10. Cat can have kittens in the oven, girl, but that won’t ever make em muffins. – Stephen King
  11. Imagination is not an icing on the cake of life but the oven in which it is baked. – Orna Ross
  12. I detest these underdone men, he thought coldly. Boiled looking! Ought to be shoved back in the oven; just one more minute would do it. – F Scott Fitzgerald
  13. Best of all are the decorations the grandchildren have made ~ fat little stars and rather crooked Santas, shaped out of dough and baked in the oven. – Gladys Taber
  14. Best of all are the decorations the grandchildren have made ~ fat little stars and rather crooked Santas, shaped out of dough and baked in the oven. – Gladys Taber
  15. Wearing your feelings on your sleeve will end up being a chip on your shoulder. – John Paul Warren
  16. Do not trust a person without scars. If they have no scars, then it means someone else is wearing theirs, usually unfairly, and usually permanently. – Justin K McFarlane Beau
  17. I’ve been wearing my super gown because someone won’t let me go get maternity clothes because they are being a paranoid, drama bear – Alanea Alder
  18. Not belonging is a terrible feeling. It feels awkward and it hurts, as if you were wearing someone else’s shoes. – Phoebe Stone
  19. Loving someone as fiercely as my mom loves me must be like wearing your heart outside of your body with no skin, no bones, no nothing to protect it. – Nicola Yoon
  20. Are deepest desires are: someone to understand us, someone to appreciate us, someone to inspire us, and someone to enjoy what we are. – Debasish Mridha
  21. It’s horrible if someone delights in someone’s failures. It’s horrible if someone feels bad when someone does good. – KR Royal
  22. The human being is single, unique, and unrepeatable, someone thought of and chosen from eternity, someone called and identified by name – John Paul II
  23. One of the fundamental rights of mankind should be that of wearing as many or as few clothes as one likes inside one’s own home. – Sachin Kundalkar
  24. A politician is a politician whether he’s wearing a suit or a funny hat. – Reza Aslan
  25. …that in spite of living in a mansion an American is not above wearing a pair of secondhand pants, bought for fifty cents. – Jhumpa Lahiri
  26. When I dreamed about becoming a fantasy adventurer, I was always a max-level character with epic gear. Look at me. I’m wearing vendor trash. – Noelle Alladania Meade
  27. It’s like wearing gloves every time we touch something, and then, forgetting we chose to put them on, we complain that nothing feels quite real. – Mark Nepo
  28. Just beacause I’m wearing revealing clothes doesn’t mean I’m inviting them to look. – Cora Reilly
  29. Men are all the same. Novelty amongst themselves displeases and upsets them -“ but if the novelty is wearing a skirt, they go crazy f – Jules Barbey dAurevilly
  30. The little woman, wearing a pink and black zigzag-striped pantsuit over a black turtleneck, resembled a skinny zebra who’d OD’d on Pepto-Bismol. – Vonnie Davis
  31. Document the moments you feel most in love with yourself – what you’re wearing, who you’re around, what you’re doing. Recreate and repeat. – Warsan Shire
  32. I just called you corny and said you were wearing a green dress. That’s, like, the least flirtatious thing anyone’s ever – Claire LaZebnik
  33. You don’t ???? with fate, Oz, because she’ll ass-rape you with no lube, wearing a spiked dildo. – Katrina Monroe
  34. I’m wearing dead cotton on my limbs and a blush of roses on my face. – Tahereh Mafi
  35. Right now I’m wearing an illegal smile. – Waseem Latif
  36. To change situation move forward with wearing smile on your face who cares you are in pain – Kishore Bansal
  37. I’m wearing this fake smile. – Daae ALF
  38. But my eagerness to sacrifice little children in order to save mankind is wearing thin. – Orson Scott Card
  39. So I’ve started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don’t need Santa seeing me in my underwear. – Jeff Kinney
  40. I can see us, living in the woods, her wearing that A, me with a S maybe, S for silent, S for stupid, for scared. S for silly. For shame. – Laurie Halse Anderson

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