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I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.

I have seen my kid struggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory: an empty gin bottle.
– Erma Bombeck

Related Quotes:

  1. Gin a body meet a bodyComing thro’ the rye,Gin a body kiss a body-” Need a body cry? – Robert Burns
  2. The stretch of Bruce Highway between Gin Gin and Miriam Vale was long and lonesome. – SA Tawks
  3. They put me in a holding cell with a black kid and a white kid and a Chinese kid. We’re the United Nations of juvenile delinquents. – Sherman Alexie
  4. A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat. – Erma Bombeck
  5. It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. – Erma Bombeck
  6. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck
  7. When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. – Erma Bombeck
  8. All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. – Erma Bombeck
  9. If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. – Erma Bombeck
  10. Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? – Erma Bombeck
  11. Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what. – Erma Bombeck
  12. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. – Erma Bombeck
  13. One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip. – Erma Bombeck
  14. Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. – Erma Bombeck – Lynn Kellan
  15. It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows – Erma Bombeck
  16. Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart. – Erma Bombeck
  17. The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. – Erma Bombeck
  18. Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. – Erma Bombeck
  19. I come from a home where gravy is a beverage. – Erma Bombeck
  20. Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children. – Erma Bombeck
  21. There was a time when the one singular thing that held a marriage together was the threat of getting the kids. – Erma Bombeck
  22. Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. – Erma Bombeck
  23. Fifteen men on the Dead Man’s Chest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! Drink and the devil had done for the rest Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum! – Robert Louis Stevenson
  24. I am an empty mind with an empty body and with an empty soul. I am neither haunting for anything nor something. – Santosh Kalwar
  25. To empty your mind, walk in the empty streets! Full mind is a tired mind; empty mind is a lively mind! – Mehmet Murat ildan
  26. Wherever you see an empty life, or an empty page or an empty mind, add something good to it! – Mehmet Murat ildan
  27. Wherever you see an empty life, or an empty page or an empty mind, add something good to it! – Mehmet Murat ildan
  28. When an empty person sits on an empty chair, the chair will still remain empty! – Mehmet Murat ildan
  29. Gay diversity is like the Village People. You can all wear different stupid outfits as long as you sing the same stupid song. – Jack Malebranche
  30. Boasting is one of those rare outfits that never looks good on you but makes you look stunning when modeled by your admirers. – Richelle E Goodrich
  31. Perhaps our matching black outfits – even Phoebe wears dark colors – convince him that we are lesbian Buddhists – Helen Smith
  32. You cannot pour from an empty bottle so take care of yourself first. – Keysha Jade
  33. If you put a clock in a bottle, with time it will crack,as like money, as like love, as like a beautiful mind, empty of a soul. – Anthony Liccione
  34. My mama is my feeding bottle… She never goes empty no matter how deep I sip! Thank you mum! – Israelmore Ayivor
  35. I loved this place when I was a kid. I still love it, but when I was a kid I’d take the bus down here and spend all day long reading in this room. – Caitln R Kiernan
  36. A -˜white’ kid that asks too many questions is called *curious.* A -˜black’ kid that asks too many questions is called *forward.* – Mokokoma Mokhonoana
  37. Democracy without respect for individual rights sucks. It’s just ganging up against the weird kid, and I’m always the weird kid. – Penn Jillette
  38. The worst thing a kid can say about homework is that it is too hard. The worst thing a kid can say about a game is it’s too easy. – Henry Jenkins
  39. A kid of your age-”any kid-”could get hold of matches if she wanted to, burn up the house or whatever. But not many do. Why would they want to? – Stephen King
  40. Kids are flat-out freaking hilarious if you are paying attention. Not just my kid, but every kid. – Dan Alatorre

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