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Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.

Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.
– Janet Evanovich

Related Quotes:

  1. The three phases of Santa belief: (1) Santa is real.(2) Santa isn’t real.(3) Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. – Alton Thompson
  2. I don’t need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here? – Janet Evanovich
  3. Delia Smith needs to realise that when Nigella flirts with the camera she comes across as a slut. When Delia does it she comes across as an old slut. – Robert Clark
  4. Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this. – Janet Evanovich
  5. Let us be kind and compassionate to all beings. Everyone wants to enjoy their lives, everyone has sufferings, and everyone wants peace and happiness. – Debasish Mridha
  6. We spring from one great tree of life; when the root of the tree is watered with love, we all thrive. – Janet Autherine
  7. Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything.-Lula – Janet Evanovich
  8. Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don’t go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut. – Janet Evanovich
  9. Money isn’t everything.’-˜The only people who say that are people who have enough money to pay the rent. – Janet Evanovich
  10. Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning. – Janet Evanovich
  11. That’s how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your ???? and they’re looking’ to find poloponies. – Janet Evanovich
  12. Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. –Stephanie Plum – Janet Evanovich
  13. It’s not a nice thing to send a ????? to a woman. It’s disrespectful. – Janet Evanovich
  14. There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It’s been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls. – Janet Evanovich
  15. If I let her in I’m doomed. It’s like inviting a vampire into your house. Once you’ve invite them in, that’s it, you’re good as dead! – Janet Evanovich
  16. Almost everybody I know has died,- Grandma said. -œBunch of wimps. – Janet Evanovich
  17. My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco, – Janet Evanovich
  18. In my father’s scheme of things, there were Italians and then there was the rest of the world. – Janet Evanovich
  19. On the bright side, I’m sure this isn’t the last time you’ll ever get firebombed, so maybe you’ll have better luck next time. – Janet Evanovich
  20. Amanda, whether you know it or not, I’m all the security you’ll ever need. I would never let anyone harm a single hair on your head. – Stephanie Evanovich
  21. The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect! – Charles N Barnard
  22. Reading is one of the best ways to bond with your child. Bond this Christmas with -œIt’s Not About You, Mr. Santa Claus – Soraya Diase Coffelt
  23. God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is ‘sposed to be a happy time. – Bil Keane
  24. What kind of Christmas present would Jesus ask Santa for? – Salman Rushdie
  25. Mom says you have to believe in Santa if you want presents on Christmas. – CK Walker
  26. Like kids who only ever get socks for Christmas, but still believe with all their hearts in Santa. – Barbara Kingsolver
  27. Like kids who only ever get socks for Christmas, but still believe with all their hearts in Santa. – Barbara Kingsolver
  28. We can _start_ making Christmas and Santa can finish up. – Toni Buzzeo
  29. Before walking in someone else’s shoes, you have to remove your shoes first. – Dr Asoka Jinadasa
  30. I really think guys only need two pairs of shoes. A nice pair of black shoes and a pair of Chuck Taylors. – Mindy Kaling
  31. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes! – Billy Connolly
  32. We are not for making shoes, so the shoemakers can have jobs, but so we can wear the shoes. – Janusz KorwinMikke
  33. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away from him, and you will have his shoes. – Anonymous
  34. I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better. – George Carlin
  35. A Spaniard and a Pole worked in the barbershop where we got our hair cut. An Italian shined our shoes. A Croat washed our car. This was America. – Ilya Ilf
  36. Everyone is longing for love, everyone is suffering from the needs and wants, so be loving, kind, and compassionate to everyone. – Debasish Mridha
  37. One wants to be understood because one wants to be loved, and one wants to be loved because one loves. – Marcel Proust
  38. If a woman does not want she actually wants, if she wants she certainly wants it! – Thiruman Archunan
  39. She was the most beautiful creature on Earth – her hair said so in that language only hair can speak. – Gabriel B
  40. … you know my belief in bald-headed Fortune, with the one solitary hair. Well, I meant to grab that hair… – Emmuska Orczy

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