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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.

When Chuck Norris calls 911 it’s to ask if everything is ok.
– Oliver Oliver Reed

Related Quotes:

  1. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  2. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  3. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  4. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  5. Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  6. Yo Mama’s so fat, her ass has its own congressman! – Oliver Oliver Reed
  7. Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  8. Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  9. Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  10. Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  11. Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, -œSorry, no professionals. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  12. If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they’d still be brother and sister. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  13. Yo Mama’s like mustard, she spreads easy. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  14. Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  15. What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone’s been on a 747. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  16. Yo Mama’s like a library, open to the public. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  17. Yo Mama’s so fat her ???? cheeks have different area codes. – Oliver Oliver Reed
  18. Just because you help others doesn’t mean you never need help yourself. Doctors can catch colds. Lawyers can be sued. Police officers can call 911. – Sarah Jakes
  19. When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. – Erma Bombeck
  20. You know you’re having a bad week when you call 911, the paramedics come to your house, and one of them notices you’ve rearranged your furniture. – Cherie Kephart
  21. It is my expectation that if I call 911 for the police that I will be blatantly harassed. – Steven Magee
  22. Man is but a reed, the weakest in nature, but he is a thinking reed. – Blaise Pascal
  23. Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain – Jon Stewart
  24. I cannot tarry longer.The sea that calls all things unto her calls me – Kahlil Gibran
  25. Speaking calls for risk, speaking calls for a sense of what one has to lose. Not just what one has to gain. – Anne Deavere Smith
  26. There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It’s been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls. – Janet Evanovich
  27. you calls it Possesiveness,i calls it Fear Of Loosing You. – Ehsaan Nashad
  28. Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth. – Chuck Norris
  29. The first moment someone calls for a revolution is usually the last moment I take them seriously. – Chuck Klosterman
  30. You don’t ask what a dance means. You enjoy it. You don’t ask what the world means. You enjoy it. You don’t ask what you mean. You enjoy it. – Joseph Campbell
  31. Ask of your eyes to seeonly to seek love.Ask of your mouth to speakonly to utter words of love.Ask of your hands to feelif only to touch the lover. – Kamand Kojouri
  32. Love is hard to believe, ask any lover. Life is hard to believe, ask any scientist. God is hard to believe, ask any believer. – Yann Martel
  33. If you cannot see where you are going, ask someone who has been there before. – J Loren Norris
  34. Everything is light, everything is warmth, everything is electricity, everything is a magnetic field, everything is you. – LH
  35. I was its skin, its movement, its shape, its god, its creator, its destroyer. And you thought Dexter was bad. The Bridgeman arrives soon. – Catherine Astolfo
  36. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck chlamydia? – Sarah Mlynowski
  37. Nobody knows everything-”one of the pleasures of language is that there is always something new to learn-”and everybody makes mistakes. – Mary Norris
  38. You are perfect, Avery. Just like you are, flaws and everything. – Shana Norris
  39. Loving ourselves calls us to give up the illusion that we can control everything and focuses us on building our inner resource of resilience. – Sharon Salzberg
  40. There is a good guilt and a bad guilt… the good one Leeds us to ask for forgiveness the bad Leeds us to hide from God. – Chuck Bridges

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